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Writer's picturePrerna Menon

Navigating the Dual Identity of Being South Asian in American Society

Updated: Sep 5

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In the melting pot of Western society, South Asians often find themselves navigating the two worlds of Western civilization and their South Asian cultural heritage. Each of which has its own values, expectations, and norms. This delicate dance involves sustaining a process of acculturation and harmoniously reconciling these distinct cultural identities to coexist effectively. As a South Asian immigrant and therapist in New York City, I've witnessed firsthand the intricate challenges South Asians face in maneuvering this dual identity. 

Today, we will explore the complexities of living between cultures and offer insights into managing this unique journey with integrity and compassion:

Naming the Struggle and Finding Healing


Carrying The Weight of Generational Trauma


What is Generational Trauma? The concept of generational trauma, often referred to as transgenerational or intergenerational trauma, holds that painful experiences that one generation goes through can have a lasting impact on subsequent generations. This trauma may have its roots in important historical occurrences that our ancestors went through, such as war, genocide, colonialism, or institutional oppression. The after-effects of these traumas may be inherited by descendants, and this can have a significant impact on their beliefs, actions, and general well-being.Generational Trauma is often experienced as an unconscious burden that manifests unexpectedly, affecting our health, actions, behaviors, emotions, and choices significantly. This burden, especially when a burden we are unaware of, often translates into a fragmented sense of self. Further amplifying the splitting South Asians may experience in navigating a dual identity. These traumas ripple through generations, shaping the mental health and identity-formation of younger South Asians.

 

Living a Double Life


Many young South Asians often describe themselves as “living a double life” and find themselves concealing significant aspects of their identity, from friendships to family or romantic relationships, due to cultural expectations. TikTok's #strictparents and #brownproblems hashtags paint a vivid picture of the secret lives South Asians often lead, balancing familial expectations with the quest to fit into Western society. South Asians, for example, may hide important parts of themselves like exploring psychedelic integration, going to therapy, enjoying their local underground music scene, having doubts about parenthood, or questioning their sexuality from their parents and extended family. South Asians might also withhold or minimize parts of their cultural identity, like traditional norms, rituals, or religiosity, from friends and romantic partners due to fears of being categorized as the “other” or not “fitting in”.  


Existentialism, a philosophy as old as the 1900s, has long proposed the importance of living in “values-alignment” and experiencing identity cohesion. This fracturing of self in the South Asian experience can lead to a sense of existential anxiety, which may manifest into depression and a whole other host of mental health struggles (Sharma, 2019).


Body Image and Coping Mechanisms 


- Issues with Body Image 


South Asians living abroad face the daunting challenge of balancing Western and customary South Asian beauty standards, creating a complex and demanding environment. The prevalent beauty ideals in Western countries frequently highlight particular body shapes, skin tones, and facial traits that might not adhere to South Asian norms. For example, the Western inclination for a slim body type may conflict with traditional South Asian standards, which occasionally accept curvier forms. Moreover, colorism—a widespread phenomenon in many South Asian cultures—often interacts with Western norms, which prioritize lighter skin tones, aggravating South Asians' anxieties about their bodies because they may feel inadequate in both situations. (Parmar, 2020) 


Internalized body dissatisfaction and a never-ending battle to live up to competing beauty standards can result from this dualism. While attempting to maintain their cultural identity, South Asians may experience pressure to lighten their complexion, reduce their weight, or change how they look in order to blend in with Western society. Mental health problems like anxiety, eating disorders and low self-esteem may arise from this inner conflict (Kotagiri, 2019).  


- Coping Strategies 


South Asians in Western society typically come up with creative coping strategies to get through these obstacles. These could consist of:

 

1. Cultural Reappropriation: Adopting conventional South Asian beauty norms and practices in opposition to Western values. This may entail a revitalized appreciation for customary attire, accessories, and beautification practices that honor their ancestry.

 

2. Social Media and Representation: With the growth of social media, South Asians are now able to establish and connect with communities that embrace variety in terms of skin tone, body type and aesthetic appeal. Influencers that challenge Western and South Asian beauty standards and advocate for the appreciation of their cultural roots, and traditions, are abundant on platforms such as Instagram and YouTube such as Anjali Chakra, Hitesh Bisht , Nabela Noor  Deepica Mutyala and more. 

3. Therapeutic Interventions: To resolve the internal tension between their two identities, some South Asians may seek therapy. Culturally competent therapists can assist clients in resolving these problems by investigating the underlying causes of their body image difficulties and creating plans for creating a more unified sense of self.

Reconciling the Conflict Between Ethnic and National Identities 


Research findings suggest that individuals who are bicultural often encounter challenges in assimilating their national and ethnic traditions, as highlighted in a study by Doe. J (2019). This internal conflict is intensified by the external demands of assimilating into a Western society that may not completely accept its ethnic character. It is like attempting to merge two hues of paint into a cohesive color—a difficult task, although not unattainable. 

The Perception of Otherness and Fostering a Sense of Belonging 


Experiencing a constant sense of being excluded can be discouraging. Research indicates that experiencing a sense of exclusion can lead to the fragmentation of one's identity, resulting in difficulties in feeling a sense of belonging in any place. The feeling of remoteness is shaped by societal structures and power dynamics within larger society, contributing significantly to this sense of isolation (Lee, K. J, 2022).  


Identity Denial 


Identity denial refers to the act of rejecting or refusing to acknowledge one's own personal identity. Being perceived as an outsider while possessing citizenship might result in the internalization of self-doubt. Research emphasizes the influence of this image on one's self-esteem and mental well-being, frequently resulting in feelings of uneasiness and a reduced sense of belonging (Smith & Williams, 2022). 


Managing Dual Expectations 


Navigating the demands of South Asian and Western cultures may be akin to traversing a precarious tightrope. South Asian culture places a strong emphasis on collectivism and the responsibility towards one's family, whereas Western society tends to prioritize individuality and personal liberty. This duality engenders an ongoing process of negotiation, compelling individuals to meet the requirements of both realms. 


Finding Equilibrium and Cultivating Resilience


Managing the intricacies of having both a South Asian and Western identity may be a difficult and challenging experience. Despite the difficulties, several individuals have found inventive approaches to manage their two cultural origins and cultivate resilience. Actively engaging with neighborhood groups, participating in cultural events to foster connections, and seeking professional help through therapy are proven methods that can enhance well-being, foster a sense of belonging, and promote resilience. Engaging with individuals who have experiences similar to yours may also offer a feeling of belonging and assistance - reducing feelings of seclusion. 


Embracing a Hybrid Identity 


In the end, adopting a blended identity can be liberating. By embracing their cultural history while cultivating a unique personal identity, individuals of South Asian descent can achieve a deeper sense of self-approval and satisfaction, fostering a more fulfilling and enriching life. This duality may provide difficulties, but it also provides the chance to cultivate a diverse and complex existence. By embracing both one's cultural heritage and personal growth, individuals may celebrate the different facets of their identity and cultivate a stronger and more enriched sense of self.

 

Living as a South Asian in a Western nation involves navigating unique challenges, such as addressing intergenerational trauma and managing the weight of conflicting expectations that can significantly impact well-being and identity. Balancing the influences of multiple cultures can be complex, underscoring the critical importance of acknowledging and embracing the challenges inherent in managing these cultural dynamics. 


"Through actively seeking help and embracing a blended sense of self, South Asians can effectively manage their dual cultural identity with elegance, resulting in a more peaceful, satisfying, and joyful existence. "


Resources for South Asians in America

 

South Asians who are dealing with the challenges of having two cultural identities might find significant assistance and direction from several sites. The South Asian Mental Health Initiative and Network (SAMHIN) offers culturally sensitive mental health treatments and community assistance that are particularly designed for the South Asian population. In addition, platforms such as Saheli Boston and the South Asian American Digital Archive (SAADA) provide tools, advocacy, and a feeling of community for those who are encountering cultural and mental health difficulties.


Utilizing these resources can offer a supportive community and practical solutions to effectively navigate the challenges of balancing dual cultural identities. Several local groups and services in New York City provide help for South Asians who are dealing with the difficulties of managing two identities. The South Asian Council for Social Services (SACSS) provides a variety of services specifically designed for South Asian citizens, such as mental health assistance and community development initiatives. In addition, the New York City branch of the South Asian Mental Health Initiative and Network (SAMHIN) offers treatment and support groups that are specifically tailored to the cultural needs of individuals. The South Asian Arts Program at the Queens Museum is a cultural center for hosting events and courses that honor and promote South Asian heritage.


Summarizing Navigating the Dual Identity of Being South Asian in American and Western Society

Step 1

• Generational trauma involves the impact of historical suffering on subsequent generations.

• Trauma from events like war or oppression affects beliefs and well-being.

• This trauma often manifests unconsciously in behaviors and emotions.

• The burden of trauma can lead to a fragmented sense of self.

• South Asians may experience heightened identity conflicts due to this trauma.

• Recognizing and addressing generational trauma is essential for mental health.

Step 2

Step 3


References

 

Authors

Prerna Menon a therapist at Boundless smiling

Prerna Menon

LCSW | CCTP

Specialties: survivors of childhood sexual abuse & incest survivors, existential crisis, race-based stress, gender identity & sexuality-related conflicts, cross-cultural issues, addiction, international students, family issues & acculturation


Sam Urell a therapist at Boundless smiling

Sam Urell

LCSW | CASAC-T | CTP

Specialties: complex trauma, addiction, relationships/attachment, LGBTQIA+ identity issues & exploration, existential crisis, men's mental health, anxiety, mood/emotional dysregulation, psychedelic integration

 

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