Too Western for Home, Too Eastern for Here: Supporting South Asian Mental Health in NYC When You Feel Like You Don’t Belong

If you’re South Asian and living in New York City, you might know the feeling: stepping off a plane back “home” to find your accent suddenly feels foreign, your clothing choices scrutinized, and your worldview labeled “too Western.” Then, coming back to the U.S., you’re reminded in subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways that you’re still “different” - your food “smells”, your holidays aren’t mainstream, and people mispronounce your name.

This in-between space can feel like belonging nowhere. As a South Asian therapist in NYC, I hear this story often - from first-generation immigrants, second-generation children of immigrants, and even those who moved here as adults for school or work. It’s an identity push-and-pull that’s more than cultural confusion; it can shape South Asian mental health, relationships, and the way you see yourself.

“It hurts my heart when I hear clients say that they’ve stopped cooking Indian food at home because they’re scared their roommate will have a problem. Helping them find their voice, and lean into the parts of themselves they’ve been taught to hide, is some of the most meaningful work we do in therapy.”

The Psychological Weight of the In-Between

Living between cultures can create an ongoing, low-grade tension that never fully lets up. You learn to “code-switch” - adjusting your speech, mannerisms, or values depending on who you’re around - and while that adaptability is an efficient skill, it can also lead to exhaustion. Physical exhaustion, social exhaustion, and emotional exhaustion. 

You might notice:

• Hyper-self-awareness in social situations, overthinking every word or gesture.

• Chronic guilt - feeling like you’re disappointing family expectations while still not meeting the “American” standard.

• Isolation - not quite fitting in with South Asian community spaces, but feeling like an outsider in majority-white or mainstream circles.

Over time, this balancing act can fuel anxiety, imposter syndrome, or a vague but persistent sadness.

Cultural Messages That Make It Harder

South Asian cultures often carry strong values around family honor, obligation, and community reputation. These values can provide incredible support - but they can also make self-expression tricky, especially when your life choices don’t align with tradition.

Common experiences I hear in therapy include:

• Being told you’re “too independent” or “selfish” for prioritizing your needs.

• Feeling pressure to choose a career or partner that aligns with cultural expectations rather than personal fulfillment.

• Being dismissed as “too sensitive” or “Americanized” when voicing concerns.

In NYC, the fast pace and individualistic culture can clash sharply with the collectivist values many of us grew up with. The result? You can feel “too much” for one world and “not enough” for the other.

“I’ve had clients that have felt like “outcasts” and sometimes that is perpetuated by working with a therapist that isn’t south asian - with clients feeling pathologized, or forced to “talk it out with their parents”. Being south asian myself allows my clients and me to get to the real work almost instantaneously.”

The Hidden Strength in Your Story

Here’s what I want you to know: this in-between identity is not a flaw - it’s a layered, rich perspective that holds resilience, adaptability, and empathy. Navigating multiple cultural landscapes forces you to develop skills many people never have to learn: reading the room, bridging differences, and finding creative ways to belong.

But that strength can only emerge fully when you have a safe space to process the tensions and grief that come with the territory.

How South Asian Counseling in NYC Can Help

Working with a therapist who understands both the South Asian experience and the NYC environment can be transformative. You don’t have to waste energy explaining why certain dynamics with family feel complicated, or why you sometimes edit parts of yourself depending on the setting.

South Asian therapy can help you:

• Name the in-between: Putting words to your experience is the first step toward self-compassion.

• Challenge internalized shame: Learn to separate your worth from others’ expectations.

• Integrate, not erase: Build an identity that honors your heritage and your individuality without feeling like you have to split yourself in two.

• Develop boundaries that work cross-culturally: Boundaries in a collectivist culture look different than those in a Western one — and therapy can help you craft ones that feel authentic and respectful.

Real-World Strategies We Might Use

Cultural Genograms

Mapping your family history and cultural transitions can help you see how values, patterns, and strengths have traveled across generations.

Parts Work

Using Internal Family Systems (IFS) or similar approaches, we explore the different “parts” of you — the one that thrives in Western independence, the one that cherishes tradition, the one that fears rejection — and learn to let them coexist without conflict.

Somatic Awareness

Cultural dissonance isn’t just mental; it lives in the body. We work on noticing where tension sits — jaw, shoulders, stomach — and practicing ways to release it.

Reframing Belonging

Instead of searching for one perfect cultural “home,” South Asian therapy in NYC can help you see belonging as something you create through relationships, communities, and your own inner acceptance.

You Are Not Alone in This

NYC is home to one of the largest and most diverse South Asian communities outside the subcontinent — but even here, many people carry the quiet ache of cultural dislocation. Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere is deeply human, but it can also be deeply lonely if kept inside.

At Boundless, therapy offers a confidential, judgment-free space to unpack the layers of your identity, honor your cultural story, and write the next chapter on your own terms. You deserve to feel at home in yourself — no matter which continent your feet are on.

Find Support for South Asian Mental Health in NYC

Feeling caught between cultures can be exhausting, leaving you uncertain about where you truly belong. At Boundless, we understand the unique challenges South Asian clients face when navigating identity, family expectations, and cultural pressures. Our therapy sessions provide a compassionate, culturally attuned space where you can process these experiences, reconnect with yourself, and begin to build a sense of belonging that honors both your roots and your individuality. You don’t have to carry this alone. Healing and clarity are possible.

Here’s how to begin working with Boundless:

1. Schedule a consultation to share your story and connect with a therapist who understands South Asian cultural dynamics.

2. Book your first session and start exploring identity, belonging, and the pressures that weigh on you.

3. Begin your healing process with support that validates your experience while guiding you toward confidence, clarity, and self-acceptance.

Additional Therapy Services at Boundless

At Boundless, we understand that healing looks different for everyone, which is why we provide a diverse range of therapy services for individuals, couples, and families. Our team offers specialized support for South Asian couples, members of the LGBTQ+ community, and those coping with issues such as trauma, depression, and anxiety.

Our clinicians use a variety of evidence-based methods, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with Exposure and Response Prevention (EXRP), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Somatic Experiencing with mindfulness. We also provide group therapy opportunities, clinical supervision and training for professionals, and flexible online therapy—ensuring clients can access support in ways that work best for their lives.

Meet the Author: Prerna Menon, South Asian Therapist in NYC

Prerna Menon, LCSW and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, offers compassionate, specialized care for survivors of childhood sexual abuse and incest, as well as those navigating addiction, existential concerns, or complicated family dynamics. She also supports clients working through race-based stress, questions of gender or sexuality, and challenges tied to cross-cultural identity. With unique insight into the experiences of international students and individuals balancing multiple cultural roles, Prerna provides trauma-informed therapy that validates each client’s story and guides them toward resilience, healing, and empowerment.