When Achievement Feels Exhausting: South Asian Therapy in NYC for High Parental Expectations

In the fast-paced world of New York City, it sometimes seems even the highest summit isn’t high enough. For South Asian professionals, consultants, and high-achievers, the drive for success often isn’t just personal—it’s relational. Achievement becomes a familial ledger: good grades, a “prestigious” career path, and the fulfillment of parental expectations shaped by sacrifice and resilience. And at the same time, you may find yourself exhausted, anxious, and wondering: Why doesn’t this feel enough?

Through South Asian therapy in NYC, you can unpack these pressures and rediscover what success truly means for you.

The Pressure Beneath the Triumph

Within many South Asian families, something like the following dynamic often plays out: parents who migrated (or whose families migrated) carry the story of sacrifice—leaving home geography, leaving old networks, investing in your future. Their messaging (spoken or unsaid) often translates into: “Your success is our success.” One recent article noted: “Family expectations shape major life choices for many South Asian millennials,” such as career paths, marriage, and day-to-day decisions.

In clinical research, perceived parental expectations have been found to contribute to worry, anxiety, and burnout among Asian-American youth (and by extension, high-functioning adults). A meta-analysis of Asian American participants found that domain-specific personal standards and perceived parental expectations were significantly associated with higher levels of worry. 

There’s also evidence that among South Asian youth in the UK and USA, high parental expectations, acculturation stress, and discrimination all compound to raise rates of psychological distress.

What this means: when you’re carrying expectations you didn’t fully choose, “achievement” can feel less like joy and more like survival. The name of the game becomes “keep up” rather than “show up.”

Why Achievement Starts to Exhaust

Here are some of the mechanisms I see (and you’ll likely recognise) in practice:

1. Internalised obligation: The narrative of filial duty (“I owe this to my parents”) means your achievement isn’t just yours—it’s a repayment. That shifts the goal-line: not “find meaning” but “avoid disappointment”.

2. Perfectionism + fear of negative evaluation: A recent 2024 study found that perceived parental expectations linked with fear of negative evaluation (i.e., the worry of being judged or found lacking) and that this can mediate distress. 

So the work isn’t just performing—it’s performing with zero misstep.

3. Identity compression: When achievement becomes the chief identity marker (“I’m the doctor/lawyer/consultant”), vulnerability, fatigue, doubt, and personal rest become sidelines. This takes an emotional toll.

4. Cultural stigma around rest or therapy: There can be a culturally rooted belief in many South Asian families that psychological rest or “therapy” is a weakness, or that mental health needs should be managed privately. One 2009 paper on South Asian families noted reluctance to seek counseling due to stigma and internalised norms of maintaining family reputation. 

The result: you’re doing the highest achievements, but you’re not necessarily doing the deepest self-care. Hence the exhaustion.

How Can NYC Therapy Help with High Parental Expectations?

As the CEO of a NYC-based practice (and as someone deeply familiar with South Asian contexts), what you’re offering has the potential to shift the frame from achievement at all costs to achieving with alignment. Here’s how you might frame it for clients:

Explore the “why” behind the achievement

Begin by asking: What do these successes mean for you personally — beyond the parental pride, beyond the marketability, beyond the resume? When success is symbiotic with family identity, sometimes the personal meaning gets eclipsed. Therapy can help reclaim “why I want this” (not just “why they expect this”).

Unpack the inner ledger

Work on mapping out those internalised obligations and fear-of-letting-down dynamics. That fear of negative evaluation (from parents, community, self) has a measurable psychological footprint. 

In South Asian therapy, you can help clients distinguish: Is this goal mine? And is this pressure something I’m still carrying?

Re-define what success means to you

Especially for South Asian professionals in NYC: success needn’t only mean climbing the career ladder. It might mean building a life that includes rest, meaning, wellness, and connection. One commentary pointed out that beneath the achievement veneer for South Asians lies “isolation, burnout, and silently struggling.” 

South Asian therapy can help broaden the definition of success to include emotional wellness, culture-fidelity, autonomy, and self-care.

Bridge culture and self

For South Asian clients, culture isn’t something to discard—often it’s a resource. But when cultural values (duty, collectivism, upward mobility) become rigid pressures rather than intentional choices, they can backfire. Research around parenting styles and South Asian cultural values shows nuance: some collectivist/obedience values may correlate with competence, but parenting practices matter in context. 

Part of therapy is helping clients hold their cultural identity with pride, while also negotiating boundaries and self-definition.

Build sustainable practices

Achievement without recuperation is a burnout recipe. Therapy can support clients in building regular rhythms of rest, self-reflection, and boundary-setting. Given the immigrant-success-narrative, sometimes rest can feel “unearned” or “lazy.” Helping clients reframe rest as part of sustainable success is key.

Why It Matters at Boundless

At Boundless, we work with ambitious professionals — many of whom are South Asian, BIPOC, or LGBTQ+ — who are used to excelling under pressure. We understand that high achievement often comes with invisible costs: anxiety, guilt, and the quiet fear of letting someone down.

Our team's approach isn’t about pushing you to perform harder or silencing the pressure. It’s about helping you integrate the different parts of your story — your family’s hopes, your cultural values, and your own evolving sense of self — so that achievement starts to feel authentic again.

In a city like New York, where competition never sleeps, therapy becomes a space to pause and ask a deeper question: Am I living in alignment with what I want — or still living to meet what’s expected of me?

That moment of recognition is where real healing begins.

Final Thoughts About Navigating Achievement & Parental Expectations

Achievement isn’t inherently the villain. It can reflect drive, passion, and resilience. But when it’s tethered to high parental expectations, cultural obligation, fear of letting down, and lack of self-definition, it loses its vitality. The exhaustion doesn’t mean failure—it means a signal: “Time to rethink how this is happening.”

If you find yourself nodding—if the professional accolades don’t match the peace inside—take a courageous step. The path from “achievement at all costs” to “achievement as expression of self” begins with a conversation. At Boundless, you can find the space to declare: yes, I succeed, and yes, I choose what that success means.

Find Specialized Support for High Parental Expectations in NYC

Living under constant parental expectations in NYC can feel like carrying a weight you can’t put down, especially when success never seems to feel like enough. At Boundless, we understand the unique experiences South Asians face while balancing family expectations, cultural identity, and personal ambition. Our therapists provide a compassionate, culturally sensitive space where you can explore these pressures, reconnect with your values, and begin healing from burnout and perfectionism.

Here’s how to get started with Boundless:

1. Schedule a consultation to share your story and connect with a therapist who understands South Asian family dynamics and achievement pressure.

2. Book your first South Asian therapy session to begin working through high parental expectations, cultural guilt, and the drive to always do more.

3. Start your healing journey with support that honors your experience and helps you move toward balance, confidence, and self-compassion.

You don’t have to carry the weight of expectations alone. With the right support, it’s possible to find peace—and redefine success on your own terms.

Comprehensive Therapy Services at Boundless

At Boundless, we understand that healing looks different for everyone. That’s why we offer a variety of therapy options to support individuals, couples, and families at every stage of their journey. Our clinicians provide culturally responsive care for South Asian couples, members of the LGBTQ+ community, and anyone navigating experiences like trauma, anxiety, depression, or relationship stress.

Our team draws from a range of evidence-based approaches, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with Exposure and Response Prevention (EXRP), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Somatic Experiencing integrated with mindfulness. We also offer group therapy programs, clinical supervision and training for professionals, and flexible online sessions, making meaningful, high-quality care accessible—wherever you are.

Meet the Author: Prerna Menon, South Asian Therapist in NYC

Prerna Menon, LCSW, is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional who provides compassionate, trauma-informed therapy for individuals healing from childhood sexual abuse, incest, addiction, existential concerns, and complex family dynamics. She also supports clients navigating race-related stress, gender and sexuality exploration, and the challenges of cross-cultural identity.

With a deep awareness of the unique pressures faced by international students and those living between cultures, Prerna creates a space that honors both vulnerability and resilience. Her therapeutic approach helps clients process pain, strengthen self-awareness, and rebuild a sense of empowerment rooted in authenticity and cultural understanding.